When Back Pain Makes You Afraid to Do the Things You Love
Have you ever talked yourself out of doing something fun because you were afraid of how your back would feel tomorrow?
I know that feeling.
After three back surgeries, including a failed spinal fusion, and years of recurring back pain, I know how exhausting it is to constantly weigh the excitement of doing something you love against the possibility of being in crippling pain the next day.
Sometimes, the hardest part isn't even the physical pain. It's the fear of how you're going to feel afterward.
For years, that fear influenced so many of my decisions.
And one of the things I feared losing most was my ability to run.
When You Start Planning Your Life Around Back Pain
When you've experienced chronic back pain for years, you can begin questioning almost everything you do.
Should I go on that hike with my family?
Will I be able to exercise today without regretting it tomorrow because I have plans tomorrow that I can't afford to let back pain screw up.
What if I bend over the wrong way?
What if I feel great right now, but wake up tomorrow barely able to move? I don't have time for that.
Even on days when your back isn't hurting, the fear of another flare-up can still be there. Those thoughts and fears can be all-consuming.
You start thinking about what might happen tomorrow instead of enjoying what's happening today.
And that can be exhausting.
I know because I lived that way for years.
But something eventually began to change for me. And it wasn't because I found one magical exercise, supplement, or treatment.
It was a combination of changes that I began making and, more importantly, continued making.
How I Slowly Started Getting My Life Back
My journey back to being active didn't happen overnight.
It began when I started making changes to my nutrition.
Through my own experience, I identified certain foods that contributed to my inflammation and pain. As I removed those foods and changed how I was nourishing my body, I began noticing that my pain was improving. It was unbelievable at first!
I want to be clear about something here: The foods that were triggering symptoms for me aren't necessarily the foods that will trigger symptoms for someone else.
Our bodies, medical histories, and individual responses to food are different. I don't believe everyone with chronic back pain needs to eliminate the same foods or follow a restrictive diet.
But for me, changing my nutrition was an important part of the process.
As my pain decreased, I began feeling comfortable enough to return to some of the physical therapy exercises I had learned over the years.
I didn't jump straight back into running.
I started with movements I already knew, exercises that had helped me build strength and stability in the past.
I took things slowly and gradually began rebuilding my strength.
Eventually, I felt ready to start lifting weights again.
And when I say I started slowly, I mean it. I wasn't trying to lift heavy weights or push myself to my limits. I was focused on rebuilding strength, one small, short workout at a time.
Over time, those small, consistent efforts began adding up.
And eventually, I decided to try running again.
"Great. This Will Hurt Tomorrow."
I still remember that first run.
I started with a very short distance because I had no idea how my back was going to respond.
And something surprised me.
I wasn't in pain.
But instead of feeling excited, my first thought was, "Great. This will hurt tomorrow."
I'd spent so many years worrying about what physical activity might do to my back that I almost expected to wake up in pain the next day.
Except I didn't.
I woke up the next morning without back pain.
I was shocked.
I couldn't believe it, so I went out and did it again.
And once again, I wasn't in pain during my run or afterward.
It was such an emotional experience.
Running had been a part of my life for so long, but I hadn't realized just how much I'd missed the feeling of being able to move without constantly worrying about the consequences. It felt like FREEDOM!
For the first time in a long time, I was beginning to trust my body again.
And that feeling of freedom was something I hadn't even realized I'd lost.
Getting Back to Running Wasn't the End of My Journey
Here's something I think is important to understand about my story.
I didn't change my nutrition, rebuild my strength, start running again, and then go back to my old habits.
I still do these things today.
I've continued avoiding the foods I've identified as triggers for my own symptoms.
Every single morning, I dedicate time to completing the physical therapy exercises that I feel have benefited me the most.
I continue lifting weights to maintain and build strength.
These aren't things I did temporarily until I felt better.
They're habits I've continued over the years because I've experienced how important they are for me.
And there's a reason I stay committed to them.
I do all of these things so that I can run.
Running is something I love. It's part of who I am. It's what makes my soul happy.
And while there are times when injuries or other circumstances require me to adjust my activity, I continue taking care of my body so I can keep doing the things that matter to me.
That doesn't mean my journey has been perfect or that I'll never experience another flare-up.
It means I've learned that supporting my health requires ongoing effort, not just making changes when something starts hurting.
What If You Started With One Small Change?
If you're living with recurring back pain, I don't want you to read my story and think you need to completely change your diet, start lifting weights, and go for a run tomorrow.
That's not what I'm suggesting.
In fact, trying to change everything at once can feel overwhelming, especially when you're already dealing with pain.
And depending on your medical history, some activities may need to be modified or guided by your healthcare provider or physical therapist.
But I do want to encourage you to think about what supporting your body might look like beyond simply responding to pain when it happens.
Maybe that means paying closer attention to your nutrition and making sure you're eating balanced meals that support your overall health.
Maybe it means consistently completing the exercises your physical therapist recommended instead of stopping as soon as you start feeling better.
Maybe it's gradually rebuilding strength with appropriate guidance.
Or maybe it's recognizing that you've been avoiding certain activities because you're afraid of another flare-up, and talking with your healthcare provider about how to safely begin moving again.
You don't have to change everything tomorrow.
Start with one manageable change. Give yourself time to build consistency. Then build on that foundation.
For me, those small changes eventually became habits that have supported me for years.
It's About More Than Being Pain-Free
When I look at a video of myself doing goat yoga, I don't just see a fun activity.
I see someone who spent years wondering whether she'd ever be able to enjoy being active without constantly worrying about what her back might feel like the next day.
I see the years of changing my nutrition, doing my physical therapy exercises, rebuilding strength, and continuing to show up for myself.
And I feel grateful.
Not because my body is perfect or because I never have to think about my back again.
But because I know what it's like to have the fear of pain influence your decisions, and I know how much it means when that fear no longer gets to make every decision for you.
My experience won't look exactly like yours. Chronic back pain has many possible causes, and what helped me may not be appropriate or effective for everyone.
But I hope my story encourages you to consider the small, consistent ways you can begin supporting your body.
Because sometimes, what you're working toward isn't just less pain.
It's the freedom to do more of the things you love.
Ready to Look Beyond Your Back Pain?
If you're dealing with recurring back pain and wondering whether there are factors beyond your spine that deserve attention, I've created a free guide to help you explore that question.
7 Unexpected Reasons Your Back Pain Keeps Flaring Up introduces several nutrition and lifestyle factors that may influence how you feel, along with areas you can begin paying attention to.
You don't have to figure everything out at once. Sometimes, understanding what might be contributing to the bigger picture is a good place to start.
If this resonates with you, follow along on Instagram at @alera_functional_health where I share more root-cause health and inflammation support strategies.
If you’d like a personalized plan that fits your life and helps you feel your best, I’m here to help. Interested in learning more about how you can optimize your health and finally find relief from your symptoms? Schedule a free Discovery Call with me by clicking here.
About The Author
Erin Briley is a Certified Functional Nutrition Coach and founder of Alera Functional Health. She helps people with recurring back pain look beyond the spine to identify often-overlooked factors that may be influencing how they feel, including nutrition, sleep, stress, digestion, inflammation, and recovery.
After experiencing years of chronic back pain, multiple surgeries, and a failed spinal fusion herself, Erin understands how frustrating it can be when pain continues to interfere with the things you want to do. Her approach focuses on practical, sustainable changes that support the whole body and help clients better understand their individual patterns, so they can spend less time organizing their lives around back pain.
